Gee, Thanks!


There are those time when I stop and think, “Gee Thanks!” sarcastically.  These incidents stem from one of those Golden Rules: Treat Other’s How You Want To Be Treated.

THE MOVIE THEATER:  I was to meet a family member at the movies, an occassional excursion and expense I partake in.  Maybe 2 times a year I go to the movies, it’s too expensive, too loud and others chatter, have phones that ring, etc.  I just find it a poor experience that I have to PAY for.  Thus, I typically refrain and watch the movies on dvd or t.v.    I arrived at the theater about 5 minutes early almost bought us both tickets, my surprise treat. Instead I decided to wait for their arrival.  I kept waiting and then the movie start time had arrived and I presumed was still showing all of those previews, I phoned the person I was waiting for and the call went to voicemail.  I assumed she was driving and didn’t want to pick up and risk getting a ticket.  I continued to wait and with 3 more calls to voicemail  I began to worry.  20 minutes into the movie I stood outside still waiting, still calling as panic rose inside me.  I envisioned my family member in a terrible car accident, couldn’t answer her phone and might be hurt.  I began leaving frantic messages on her voicemail.

Distraught I drove home and jumped online to see if there were any reports of auto accidents in the stretch of highway between her home and the theaters.  This was not an easy task locating such info.   I ended up taking a tranquilizer, I was so distressed!  I continued to wait for a call or any information.

Hours later I got a phone call that the person I was meeting was both home and pissed off that I didn’t show.  I felt both relief and terrible confusion.  I then thought about the event and what had happened was that she arrived earlier than I had, she purchased her ticket decided to not wait out front as we had discussed.  Went inside, turned her phone off and watched the movie.

I was angry that I was not only willing to wait for her but wait 20 minutes beyond the start of the movie for her, out front as planned and she did not have the same courtesy.

THE BOOK:  A friend of mine and I went to the taping of a popular tv show, at the end of the taping we were all to get a free copy of their latest book.  It was to be mailed to a central location and we would all have to go back there to pick up our copies individually.  (We had been part of an organzied tour)

My friend and I kept calling over the following weeks and no book, I had mentioned I would be happy to pick up her copy to save her the drive (she lives about 20 minutes further away) and I could give it to her over lunch, she was happy with this offer.  The day the books arrived the tour company phoned us all to come pick them up.   She sent me an email letting me know she got the phone call and to tell me the book(s) were in just in case I didn’t get a call. Later, that night (after a busy day)  when I read the email message I offered (again) to pick her up the copy meant for her.  The response I received left me feeling FLAT; ” I already went and got my copy but, thanks anyway”

Uh, did you even think to ask if you could help me out?  Pick up a copy for me?  I guess not!

In both instances, I’ve ended up feeling hurt.  Maybe I am just a big sissy but these are my feelings.  The phrase; “Gee, Thanks a lot for not considering me!” seems to fit.

At My Kitchen Window


I have a neighbor who voraciously gardens and I appreciate the beauty she brings, in her 70’s or 80’s this is her favorite pastime.

My attached unit has a back patio and a tiny piece of yard, I am in an end unit.  My kitchen window looks out onto her front door and gardening, often a pleasant morning experience.  One day I noticed something up against my kitchen window on the outside, after investigating I discovered she had put plant stands and potted plants up against my window.  While it looked nice from the outside, it felt uncomfortable that she was actually up at my kitchen window with little or no regard to my sense of privacy.

After a couple of days of processing this latest invasion of privacy and how would be best to handle it, I left a short note on her door saying  “having things up against my kitchen window felt a bit intrusive…”.   Eventually they were removed

She has family, friends and help that visit.  She brings people around the side and to the back of my unit and then on to her own back area, where she has many things planted but, they are also planted in my area (which I asked her to please not do, since my dogs bark endlessly when they see her outside my living room window, about 1 foot away.)   She continues to parade people back there and today, as previously she has done, has her helper just outside my kitchen window Gardening and Planting.  Just outside the kitchen window is really up AT MY KITCHEN WINDOW.   There is no 3 feet or 2 feet it is right up against my open kitchen window.  Uncomfortable!!

I walked into my kitchen, began to cook brunch and said aloud, This is uncomfortable.  No acknowledgement as they remained there planting fresh cuttings – but they were whispering, not talking as they normally do. This indicates to me a knowing that this was not OK.

Until I wrote that last paragraph I started to wonder if maybe due to her age, she had forgotten.  As I recalled them stooping there whispering I no longer wonder about the possibility of forgetfulness.  I’ve often thought of hanging out in front of her kitchen window, but it would be very odd if I were to do that with no pretext of gardening (in her front yard).  I can’t imagine how that would be for her to find me standing outside her window.

There are times when I wish I could just go live alone up on a mountain.

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