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Praise Shocker

Having just spent a few days at Mom’s house, it is often a treacherous path to navigate not knowing what sudden mood shift (in her) may occur and leave me dangling perilously off the side of a narrow footpath I travel when in her presence, ready to plummet to my own demise.

There were surprisingly no dangerous elements that appeared and the visit was pleasant.  I even experienced an extremely rare phenomenon; praise.

With a bit of dumbfounded shock at receiving praise, momentary silence and confusion stilled my being as I looked in her direction. I soon smiled and replied; Thank you!    My mind reflected on the time that I learned of the concept of ‘modeling’, not where you are photographed and splashed on glossy magazine pages and covers.  The kind of modeling where you behave in a way that sets an example for others (to hopefully imitate).

Many years back, I had taken the approach to compliment and praise mother on her ability to navigate her own difficult life’s journey.   In my family there were never ( that I can recall ) praises or compliments.  When I spoke these kind, supportive words to her that first time she responded by laughing at me, as though she thought I was putting her on or pulling her leg.

I would repeat the kind words over the months and years and she no longer laughed but began to listen, to hear me.  Then, one afternoon I was driving her somewhere while I was staying over for a visit and out of no where she said; ” I am proud of you “.

My mind said, “What?!?”  I felt a deep sense of shock and disbelief as the words lingered in the air within the automobile, I started to question myself at what I just heard and then dismissed my doubts and jumped in with a heartfelt, stunned “thank you.”  Wow!  At 50 y.o. I got what I had always wanted from my mother, praise.  Only wish I hadn’t been behind the wheel and could have crashed from the shock of it all.  It was a real big moment, in my mind and heart.

That ‘modeling’ concept works!


Lonely Holiday?

♥ Remember It’s Just Another Day.

This has helped me when I have felt lonely, down or unable to participate in any holiday happiness. You are not alone.

Sunrise Missing

I woke early, as usual and peeked out the window to see the sunrise (6:00 am).  The sky was dark and it confused me.   I wandered into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and let the dogs out, all the while thinking I must be up earlier than usual (even though I had looked at the clock).

Every now and then when I lay down to take a nap I get discombobulated upon waking, thinking its the next morning or still night when its dark outside, until I can gather my wits about me and figure things out.

With dogs pottied and fed, I turn on the morning news with coffee in hand and see their morning sunrise picture of a beautiful partially cloudy red sky.  I peek out the window again and it’s still dark as night.  Hmm.   Yesterday I heard ( don’t know if it’s true or not) that on 12-21-12 there will be an eclipse and wondered suddenly what the date was.

Then it occurs to me that it must be cloudy outside, there was mention of possible rain.  All is ok, it’s not the apocalypse just yet.  LOL



Ok so I have been pushing myself to walk.  Walking to me, seems the lesser of all exercise evils.  As I walk with other women and dogs it slowly is evolving into something much more meaningful than just forcing myself to move my body.   It is becoming a journey into discoveries, similarities, humor and at times yes, a little bewilderment.

One full walk around the path is just a little over a mile and it was a long mile even with the friendly chit-chat to occupy my mind.  Somewhere along the way we upped the anti to two times around the path.  I complain out loud as I feel the strain but, I push on.

Today, I noticed the strain as we embarked on the second round but the chit-chat was engaging and I decided just this once to keep the complaining silent.  We all made it safely and in complete pieces, no body parts fell off from exhaustion along the way.  Maybe we can actually do this.

Pitfalls Of Volunteering?

With some free time on my hands and wanting to volunteer my time talents and energy for a cause that resonates with me I did an online search with the words Volunteer and ( My City ).  This may be help you to find opportunities in your area.

I learned that being able to focus on something outside of myself and being around other people is a good thing   …as much as you can tolerate.  About  a year ago, I filled out a volunteer form for the Wounded Warrior Project.  I NEVER heard back or even an acknowledgement that my submission had been received.  I visited their site again a few weeks back with same results.  They have lost their credibility with me.

When this type of thing happens and it seems to happen often,  I question the organizations plea (or post) for volunteers and question my willingness to give of my self to poorly run, unappreciative entities.  It feels BAD, when after you have decided to set aside the time and energy to Give and you are just left hanging.

There is a literacy tutoring program in my county that requires several weeks of training before you can begin volunteering, I did the training and it was long and grueling.  Success at reaching the end!  Now several months later I have yet to volunteer and its not for lack of trying on my part.  One of the individuals in charge is a complete numskull.  Keeps making huge mistakes, saying one thing and doing another (over and over), causing me needless car travel and time to facilities for absolutely no reason, only to discover once I arrive.

I have grown weary and disappointed of this organization which is sponsored by the county-wide library system.  I thought it would be  reputable and professionally run, wow how I was wrong.

So when you try or want to do something good, something to help others or just give back in some meaningful way don’t be shocked if you find roadblocks along the way.  I know that sounds unbelievable and it really is!  I plan on shifting my focus in a new  direction since I don’t want to be affiliated with such a sloppy organization.  The point is, keep trying until you find what it is that works for you ( that’s my plan even now, a little over a year later ).  Volunteering can be good for you.

With the East Coast having suffered so much in the wake  of such a terrible storm,  the Red Cross is reputable and if that interests you, go for it!  I am sure they will be grateful and take you up on your good intentions.

UPDATE:   I officially withdrew from the volunteer position, wanted to refrain from throwing any one person under the bus and going into details.  I was asked over and over so I gave a few examples only to hear the excuses and reasons why that might have happened.  Exactly what I didn’t want to receive and in a sense invalidating my reasons for feeling so frustrated, fed up and finally throwing in the towel.   I am in a very bad mood, down, depressed a bit and in an ugly place following that phone call.  Being a grown-up and responsible I called them rather than just walk away and leave them hanging, now I sort of wish I had done just that.

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