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Copying The Bad Man


 

Age 4.  I wandered alone into the living room while my parents slept.  I hovered over the nearly full ashtray on the coffee table and picked up a cigarette butt, I wanted to be like the strong intimidating and all-knowing man my father was.  I placed it between my lips and pretended to smoke, just like him.

I feared him then and now that he has long since passed away, I fear encountering him in the afterlife.

Today, I struggle with my addiction to cigarettes and find that after nearly 38 years it is becoming more difficult for me to breathe, yet I still light up.

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2 Comments

  1. I hope that you can find the strength to stop harming your health. I smoked for over 20 some years and it is almost my one year quit day soon xx

    Reply

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