New Fixation: Strange Behavior


Ok clearly I have become fixated on my neighbors strange behavior.  It started with her not respecting my  boundaries and staying away from my kitchen window  ( See, The Moving Plant and At My Kitchen Window posts ).

I updated The Moving Plant the other day with a quick comment that it was Back!  Irritation rose but I waited to react.  Now each time I enter my kitchen I am compelled to look out and observe what my neighbor has done since my last viewing.  Not being heard, respected after you take the energy and courage to speak up feels very ugly.  Disrespectful.  Hurtful.

This early morning, too early, 6 am I awoke and could not go back to sleep so I headed out to the trusty ol’ coffeemaker.  Yes, I looked!  This compulsion is so strong, I almost hate it.   Lingering negative feelings toward the neighbor just under the surface, I expect a resurgent of their strengths once I see that plant.

OMG!  Now, it’s gone ( again ).   I’ve noticed that when the plant is no longer in the forbidden zone I feel heard, respected and of course better over all.  This would be the “rise”.  When I see she has returned to utilizing the forbidden zone my feelings “fall” into the negative arena.  Over the past week(s) I find myself experiencing the rise and fall on a near daily basis based on my request being honored or not.

I intellectually know that my emotional state should Not be so easily influenced by another’s actions.  But that is logic and my emotions are Not logical.  I don’t think anyone’s are.

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