Dealing with my poor dog and my imagination, I was stuck in a fearful dark and hopeless place for the past several weeks. Family phoned to check on me and were met with my tears and hopelessness but I didn’t want any one around, I was prepared to wallow for as long as was necessary (however long that might be).
A week later; Morning knock at my door, I was not dressed ( nothing new for the past weeks ) and when I looked out the peep hole I saw my sweet little grandma standing there! She is in her 90’s and doesn’t drive so I knew she wasn’t alone. My heart soared as I opened the door to embrace her. She had come to interrupt/ rescue me from my self imposed emotional dungeon and asked if I would come out to lunch.
For the first time in a long while I sat outside in the company of those who love me, ate food, breathed fresh air and walked a little. I even brought the dogs and they loved and appreciated it as much if not more. Breaking the cycle of dispair I have allowed room for a little sense of hope to enter. Recent test show dog does not have a tumor or other blockage and her problems still need tests but its not all doom and gloom and thats how I had been living (not eating, tears, dark room and t.v. with lots of sleep)
Now on to dealing with whatever is to come next. Thanks to all of you who have been so kind and shown support.