Wild ups and downs from Hope to Hopelessness as I struggle to keep one of my dogs healthy and alive. These dogs are my life and my family, the only constant in my life and companions I hold closest to my heart. I know people should be among those that I hold closest and dearest but that isn’t the case, if I am being honest.
stomach digestive problems have plagued my dog through out her life sporadically. Now it is a day by day, hour by hour struggle. Suddenly, everything she eats ( and I mean Everything ) is causing her pain, the runs and wiping her out as it takes its toll on her. Each visit to the vet is $50 just to walk in the door. I have been there 5 times in the last two weeks. I now have an IV bag of fluids that I had to learn to administer to her, pain medications and antacids.
When she is struggling I contemplate having to put her to sleep and despair takes hold. When she perks up and is able to eat a little something with no adverse effects, joy and happiness engulf me. I think, “how could I contemplate putting her to sleep, she is so happy and loving and full of life. Then, things turn and the downward spiral happens. She will have the runs, show me signs she is in pain and not doing well and fear, anxiety and hopelessness returns. This can happen in a day or a few hours.
Only thing she seems to be able to consume with minimal problems is chicken. Eventually, I keep trying to add a little rice. We had a day and a half of no problems so I added as a night-time snack a teensy bit of low-fat cottage cheese (approx. 7 curds). Next morning we were back to the nightmare of her struggles.
It hurts me to administer the fluids, I have to insert a needle into her skin. The pain meds need to be put down her throat, she won’t eat a thing.
One day hopeful, the next depressed. It’s taking a toll on me, a Big Toll. I feel exhausted all the time, emotionally wiped out and physically drained. Much trepidation as we face another day.