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My Father Who Art In Heaven?


Dear Dad,

Are you in Heaven?  I know you didn’t believe in Heaven, in God.   Oh, I just discovered tears welling up in my eyes not because of your belief’s or lack of but because I am finally writing about you, to you.  This is clearly going to be a personal tearjerker ( category ) endeavor for me, but long overdue.

When I think of you, is that you being near?  Or is it simply part of my random thoughts and memories?

I recall several years back a conversation with an older man ( not you, you didn’t live that long ) about Heaven and what it might be like.   During this conversation, I felt tears come to my eyes and stated that I hoped I didn’t see you there,  I didn’t want to see you there because you usually terrified me, made me feel bad about myself and passed down this often unbearable depression.  Now, I’m not so sure about those declarations, maybe seeing you in Heaven would heal my wounded soul.

I am crying, will return to this topic as soon as I am able.

Visitors, Readers  What are your thoughts?

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6 Comments

  1. wow, I am speechless. This is something that could be very theraputic for you, or it might be a terrible trigger. You are in my thoughts (((hugs)))

    Reply
    • Aiming to let other’s know this is not uncommon exp and therapeutic all in one ( I hope ). Thank you for those hugs 🙂

      Reply
  2. I was very close to an aunt, who passed, not the same as your father, I know. But I like to think that when I think of her, she is with me, she is near. As I think of her I remember her soul, her essence and her presence. It doesn’t bring them back but it reminds me of their ‘being’. If your unsure of how you felt near him, then remember events instead. Start with facts and real events that happened, remember the good and bad, and maybe over time you will begin to remember how you felt. But just because you felt that way then, doesn’t mean you have to feel the same way about it now.

    I hope your ok.

    Reply
  3. Jaen Wirefly

     /  June 23, 2012

    This is a brave post. I’m hoping it has given you some peace.

    Reply

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