I really don’t like people for the most part. Unfortunately, I recognize the need for human interactions and such I just with there were a way to do life without other people. I feel drained, put upon, inconvenienced, irritated and annoyed following most interactions be it social or family. And when I am free of the interaction, it tends to continue on In My Head. Often I notice anxious feelings, maybe blood pressure increase but definately a degree of agitation wraps itself around me with no plans of dissipating.
I rehash, revisit, relive the interaction and find ways I could have or wish I had done things differently.
Whenever I leave my humble abode, I run the risk of bumping into one of my neighbors, I prefer to not even acknowlege anyone thus avoiding some of the following types of interactions that have already happened:
A couple walked past me the other day at my complex, I know the female and greatly dislike the male who has no idea what boundaries are, she did not acknowlege me nor I her because she was with that guy. Afterward, I thought the whole thing felt odd. Next day, I go outside and see her walking around then she spots me and heads right over (in my head, “Now What? Geez I haven’t even showered”) She asks me to drive her somewhere. HUH? I decline and retreat indoors to shower. Thinking “yuck! Do I have some target on my back that says come and engage me?”